Thanksgiving

Picture from Thanksgiving! We had such a great time chillin at the beach, in Key Largo, at the Everglades, on South Beach, at my apartment! My mom even found a little stalker crush on a homeless man who sings/dances on Lincoln! Haha

Winds are Changing

One more week until Thanksgiving! My entire family is coming down to Miami to celebrate and enjoy the lovely weather! : )

However...the weather is turning colder! After the hurricane scare a few weeks ago, the winds have been changing and it's getting down to 80*F! : )

This past weekend, Corey (a TFA 2nd Grade Teacher) and I went up to Universal Studios/Island of Adventure in Orlando. We had free passes through Miami-Dade Public School Disctrict. The park was awesome! It was totally sensory overload and I loved it! I can't even believe all of the rides and entertainment and decorations and planning and engineering that goes into that park....incredibly fun!

DonorsChoose.org update!! My proposal that I submitted last week was completely funded!!! Wow! I can't believe it! I will be getting the materials for the project within the next 2-4 weeks, and I am totally pumped to start the project with my students! God is good. The $339 proposal took 7 days to be funded! Way exciting. Next, I want to submit one for my students to have critical thinking materials! : )

Winds are Definitely Changing: I see the light to Thanksgiving... and then I'm in Waco visiting friends... then Christmas is here! I just need a few more gusts of energy to push me along. : )

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Enya's Sail Away

DonorsChoose.org

I wrote a proposal for DonorsChoose.org to get an interdisciplinary civic engagement project funded for my new gifted classroom! Check it out! : )

The below letter was written and formatted by DonorsChoose.org, but it is a good letter explaining what they do! : )

Dear friends,

I want my students to have as many great learning opportunities as possible, but sometimes I just can't get the funding I need. To address this issue, I turned to DonorsChoose.org.

Here's the scoop. At this nonprofit website, public school teachers (like me!) submit proposals for materials or experiences their students need to learn. These ideas become a reality when concerned individuals (like you!) choose projects to fund. Donors who complete project funding or give more than $100 receive photos and personal thank-you notes from the kids they helped. It's easy - and very rewarding.

The great news is that my project proposal, Change YOUR World, is now posted at DonorsChoose.org! Check it out at:http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=125860&utm_source=teachers&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TeacherMarketing
Take a look. Also, please consider supporting my students and me by forwarding this message to others who may be interested in improving education.

Best regards,
Megan Rapp

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Soldia Boys Superman!

Lord, Thank You for the Sabbath

What a wonderful weekend!

Thank you Lord for breaks. You definitely knew what you were talking about when you commanded us to take a day of rest each week.

Friday night, I went to this cool jazz, hip-hop concert at the University of Miami. It was sensory overload, and it was awesome. Made me definitely miss life on a campus...

Saturday...went to the beach, got some sun, laughed.

Saturday night, I went out to Sleepless Night on South Beach. It was cool. Lots of people. Art. Music. Dancing.


Sunday, I helped with the kids Sunday School at Calvary and went to the late service. Lovely! Although...I was definitely the mean Sunday School teacher. I'm not sure how to transfer between Ms. Rapp and Miss Megan. I need to work on that for next week. Being a witch with Sunday School is different than being a strict teacher in the inner city.
...hmmm...I need to work on that role-differentiation.

Basically, the weekend was good!

Lyrics I'm Humming:

MIA Paper Planes

Musings on Honesty

"You shall not steal, nor deal falsely, nor lie to one another."

Leviticus 19:11

This week I've been doing a lot of thinking about honesty and the importance of honesty with God, with family, in relationships, with yourself...



My Bible study that I'm doing with Calvary Chapel has been very convicting. This week our theme was honesty, and we spent each day on our own reading Biblical teachings on honesty. Then, at Bible study Monday night we hear everyone else's musings, and it is very challenging.

...Ephesians 4:25...

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor,

for we are all members of one body.

We affect other people when we speak dishonest words;

we affect other people when we omit truthful words and thoughts.

Even in the smallest details we must remain honest. For example: at school, sometimes I will take a few extra pencils, a few extra sheets of paper, a few extra whatevers people, well, no one will notice and everyone else is doing this.

However...NEWSFLASH!! If we cannot be honest and faithful in the small things, God will not entrust us with bigger things!

I was also thinking a lot about why I am dishonest or why I don't explain everything in it's utmost truth...

...here are some vunerable thoughts that come to mind...

~greed

~habit

~delusion that noone will notice

~selfishness

~fear of not disappointing other people

~pride

~lack of trust in God...lack of faith that He will provide ALL my needs



Especially right now, as I am being a leader in my classroom, I must be honest and truthful in every detail with my students.



**If you love someone, you won't lie to them. Lying is a form of self-preservation and self-interest. (words of wisdom from Mary from my Bible study)



I then took the study a little deeper and thought about my dishonestly with myself.

I've been really apathetic and really unmotivated to significantly impact my new gifted kids. Honestly, I just got so burned out from my last class, and I was so happy to be out of my weird-depression.

But, I relocated to Miami to teach and help people! I could have a meaningless job anywhere!

I need prayer that I will regain motivation and passion to challenge my new students and create a very differentiated, detailed curriculum to best meet EVERY student I work with.

And, those are my musings on honesty.

Lyrics I'm Humming

Beautiful by Bethany Dillon

Dog for Sale

My mom emailed me a dog in need of a home, and I thought I would see if any of you were interested.




Let me know if you want him!

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Subject: Dachshund needs a home

My neighbor has a puppy he's giving away (FREE!). It's a Dachshund, it's house broken, and it's great with kids. He's giving it away because his wife says the dog 'stares' at her when she is undressing, and that gives her the 'Heebie Jeebies'. I think she is just weird !

If you're interested, or know someone who is, let me know.

Here's a picture of the dog.

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Lyrics I'm Humming:

Elton John's Crocodile Rock

My Bio-Poem

This week, I am doing get-to-know-you and diagnostic stuff with my new gifted students!

One thing we're doing is writing our own Bio-Poems. I'm having the kids use a 13-line template where they write colorful, lively descriptions of themselves!

Then, we traced our face profiles (using dark rooms and flashlights) onto construction paper and the students rewrote their Bio-Poems with markers and drawings on their profile!

I tell the kids I'm looking for cReAtIvItY!!!!

Write your own bio-poem and leave it as a comment on my blog!!! : )

Line 1: Your first name
Line 2: Who is...(Descriptive words that describe you)
Line 3: Who is brother or sister of...
Line 4: Who loves...(three ideas or people)
Line 5: Who feels...(three ideas )
Line 6: Who needs...(three ideas)
Line 7: Who gives...(three ideas)
Line 8: Who fears...(three ideas)
Line 9: Who would like to see...
Line 10: Who shares...
Line 11: Who is...
Line 12: Who is a resident of...
Line 13: Your last name

Here is my Bio-Poem!

Megan Ann
Who is creative, optimistic, and encouraging.
Who is the sister of Allison Kathleen and Kelly Richard.
Who loves fresh flowers, getting mail, and costume parties.
Who feels calm when by the ocean, rejuvenated after laughing with friends, and joyful when skiing down a mountain.
Who needs people in her life to encourage her, hugs, and laughter.
Who gives smiles, energy, and prayer.
Who fears being alone, disappointing her parents, and missing out on an adventure.
Who would like to see a baby being born, a poor neighborhood restored, and a shark in the ocean.
Who shares ideas, time, and money.
Who is a dancer, a dreamer, and butterscotch lover.
Who is a resident of the world.
Rapp

My favorite thing was a student who wrote on line 12, "Who is God, smartt, and Ms Rapp" I was like, "sweetie, are you God? Are you Ms Rapp? You sure are smart though!" Haha! Funny times...He's very cute!

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Free the World by Mike Jackson

Just Dance It Out

Oh my...I love to dance!

Tonight, Corey (the 2nd grade Teach for America teacher at my school) and I went to a jazz class at Miami City Ballet!

It was so much fun! When I dance I just forget about everything else and just smile! We were dancing to some fun ditty-bop music, tribal jazz music, and 80s Madonna! It was soooo nice to dance and laugh and roll around on the floor with Corey just laughing!!! : )

My favorite ever Dane Cook sketch is him talkin about the difference between guys and girls at dance clubs! Click the link below to watch it!

I just gotta dance! Put my pocket book and shoes in the middle of the circle and dance around them!

So, it turns out that dancing really is good for the soul! : )

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Jackie Wilson Baby Work Out

Pablo!

Pablo (on the right) and friends from Paris

About two months ago, before school started, Brad (my dear friend from Iowa) and I were chillin on the beach, and I saw a friend I met in Paris! When I was studying abroad, there was a Spanish boy in my class named Pablo. He was super sweet! Well, I ran into him on South Beach!

Craziness!

It turns out he moved here from Spain and works for the Spanish Embassy. So, we exchanged numbers and got together tonight!

We went out to this really cool bar and had some awesome pineapple mojitos! Pablo is such a sweet guy! We just talked and talked and caught up on life, jobs, family, Miami, Paris...

What a small world!

My French language class at the Sorbonne in Paris
(Pablo is on the top right of the picture...I am to the left of him)

Friends from Paris (Pablo is the only boy...duh... : )

Lyrics I'm Humming:
La Vie en Rose - Edith Piaf

New Beginnings

Today was definitely exciting!

I am going to be working at 4 schools! (Lots of work and lots of planning!!!)
Tuesdays and Thursdays I'll be at Lenora B Smith (where I was the past 8 weeks)
Mondays I'll be at Phillis Wheatley
Wednesdays I'll be at Kelsey Pharr
Fridays I'll be at Little River

Kelsey Pharr Elementary School

Today, I went to Kelsey Pharr (picture above) to meet the kids, and I pulled out the students from Lenora B. It was really fun! We worked on acrostic poems with our names.

My Bible study last night was really nice. We've been talking about God's part and our part with our finances...and not just giving and tithing, but saving and investing and debt and work and loans and even what God says about co-signing!

Did you know that there are over 2,350 verses in the Bible that deal with our finances?
Hello?! So crazy!

God is in control of everything. He is control of where we live and when we live there. He is sovereign.

God is in control of why things happen to us.

God is in control of the resources he entrusts us with.

The support and encouragement I received the past 8 weeks from you has been incredible.

My dear friend Molly Stouffer just sent me the kindest card, making me cry. I am blown away with the compassion and encouragement Christians give me.

Thank you for helping me get through these past 2 months. Thank you for giving me strength and energy to continue, not quitting. I am so thankful to those of you who helped me with open ears and kind words.

Tomorrow I go to Little River and Phillis Wheatly! Yeah! It is going to be a great day!


(And...definite bonus that I do not wake up in the mornings feeling nauseous and depressed...)

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Bicycle Race by Queen

The Winds are Changing

Friday, October 5. What a day.

School...morning class, same ole same ole.

10:30 am-Principal calls me to her office to tell me I've been surplused (let go) because of budget cuts. (Too many teachers, not enough students...I was the last teacher hired, so I must leave my classroom and will no longer be teaching my students)

Oh my goodness! I was totally in shock! Part of me totally excited and releaved, and part of me kinda sad to leave some of the kids...kinda.

The principal offered me a different position...I am going to be the gifted education teacher for 3 different schools, pulling out small groups of gifted students working on enrichment projects and gifted curriculum!!! Oh my! I am SOOO excited!

My grandma left yesterday and I was so content seeing her go. Thursday night (my 23rd birthday) was rough. I was just so depressed and sad knowing Grandma was leaving Saturday. We laid in bed, and I just cried and cried. But, after Friday's news, I was okay with her leaving. Thank you Lord.

I start Monday morning with my new job, and I am just elated. I think the job is going to be a lot of work, but I am excited to use my creativity and inventiveness! I will be starting a gifted program in 3 schools!!!

My grandma and two wonderful aunts worked in gifted education, so I am already surrounded by great resources.

I feel rejuvenated. I feel replenished. I do not feel nauseous in the mornings. Whew. It's like I can breathe again and smile again!

So, the best birthday present ever...getting fired! : )

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Celebrate Good Times! Come On!

what is wrong with me?

Someone please bribe my grandma to stay forever.

anyone?

Lyrics I'm Humming:
nothing really...

Over the Bend and Through the Woods...To Grandmother's House We Go

My grandma is coming tonight to stay with me for a week. Oh I am so excited to see her. It's all that's been getting me through this week of hell.

It's weird...every day is worse than the day before. You'd think that wasn't possible and that the days would get better...Thursday was bad. Fights in my classroom...frustrations elsewhere... I'm just down.

So happy Grandma is coming. Really looking forward to some help and a friendly face. Man...I'm crying just thinking about seeing her. I just don't know what's going to make this year better.

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Everyday I Have the Blues: B.B. King

Looking for a Stronghold

Wanted: STRENGTH for a 22 year old, idealistic teacher trying to change the world with her own two hands.

I went to a Bible study tonight, and it was so nice to be around a group of Christians. I shared my frustrations and disappointments with school, and although my classroom is still a nightmare, I have some kind words to fall asleep to tonight.

God does not call us to be successful...

He calls us to be faithful.

-Mother Theresa (Mama T)

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Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

And, my grandma is coming to visit this Saturday and she'll be here for my birthday! What an incredible blessing. So, I am holding on until then. I love my grandma.

Please keep my classroom in your thoughts and prayers. Pray for peace. Pray for me to have wisdom and strength. Pray for courage. Pray for patience. Pray for the kids to have some desire to work hard. Pray for my ability to inspire and motivate them to work hard.

In need of strength.

I think the part of this that bothers me the most is not how hard this situation is...it's that I thought I would be stronger. I hoped I would be able to rise above the negativity and warfare within my 4-walled classroom; however, it turns out that I am just a naive 22 year old girl.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Lincoln Brewster's I Will Love the Lord

Drowning

I don't even know what to say. I want to explain every detail and every struggle; however, I do not want my students, my administration, or anyone I am working with to really know what is going on.

All I can say is, I am drowning.
I want to quit.
I hate my job.

On Friday, I was so angry that during my 2 minute break I picked up my binders and through them against the wall and yelled, "I HATE MY JOB"
I am really struggling right now.

Every morning I wake up nauseous. I want to throw up every single morning. I don't eat breakfast, and I feel so sick that I can't really pack a lunch because even thinking about food hurts my stomach. I hate waking up in the morning. I want to call and quit this job every single morning.

I really don't know what to do. I am struggling with whether I need to stick this job out, because it is something that God wants me to grow from. Maybe this job is something I need to go through in order to make me a better, stronger person.

OR...maybe I need to get out now. When I see kids on the street, I just ignore them. I hate seeing kids on the beach; I am annoyed by kids I see everywhere. I used to love kids. I feel so depressed. I am becoming so apathetic towards the kids, and I am so frustrated with where I am. I am giving so much of myself, and it is taking everything from me. I am miserable with this job.

Reasons I don't want to quit:
-pride: quitting would acknowledge that I couldn't do this job.
-embarrassment: having to tell people I quit.
-being just another white person who gave up on my students
-letting people down

I don't know what I should do. I am seriously lacking in discernment right now.


Last week was one of my worst teaching weeks; however, Jeremy was here, which was wonderful. It was so nice having someone here to laugh with and smile with. And, it was so great to have something else to talk about and think about that didn't revolve around teaching.

I just don't know what to do.

I need prayer for a mild tropical storm: one that will cancel school for a few days but will not cause any damage on the city or the people.

Lyrics I'm Humming:
I'll Fly Away

Find the Sunsets and Watch Them.

Wow...what a weird place I find myself.

Tomorrow is TPD (Teacher Planning Day)... I am spending this afternoon at a friend's apartment eating dinner, watching a movie, and watching the beautiful Miami sunset from her huge balcony window. It is nice to not plan and think about school.

Man...I have never quite felt this way about anything in my life. The past few nights, I have been getting so depressed. I am just surrounded by negative all day long, and I go home so depressed because my students are so far behind and there are so many negative factors hurting us in our classroom.

I have never felt this depressed. I just want to sleep. My body is so exhausted. My mind is so exhausted. My energy is dwindling.

I am not going to quit, but I would love to. It would be so easy just to throw the towel in and leave this impossible job.

However, I need to face this challenge right now. I need to grow as a person and I need to be stretched and molded. I know these things...I know I want to become the best possible person and help the most amount of people possible.

I want to want to be here. I just want to wake up one morning excited to go to school to teach. I am waiting for the day when I like what I do.

My selfish prayer right now is for a minor tropical storm...school would be canceled and I could have a day to sleep in and breathe.

Jeremy is coming on Sunday. I am so excited to see him. It'll be so wonderful to have something not related to school to be around; it'll be so wonderful to have a reason to laugh and smile. I'm taking a personal day on Monday.

I wish I could give you more details regarding my students, the teachers I work with, the administration I work for, the neighborhood I work in.

My mind is spinning.
I am learning so much so fast.
Talk about shock therapy.

Positive for the day: I left my school at 3:30...which is the earliest I've left school this year.
Positive for the day: My morning class was attentive in my math lesson!

Getting better? Getting worse? Definitely not stagnating.

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Kids in America

To Sustain or Not to Sustain...

So, on Saturday we had a Teach for America (TFA) orientation workshop. The first mini session was called "Sustaining Energy". We first made a list of things we had done during the week for ourselves and a list of things we had done during the week for our students...

...basically, my list was very uNbAlaNcEd... I had done about 75 things for my students and 2 for myself.

Today was rough. I came home, and I went for a bike-ride around South Beach and swam for a little bit in the ocean.

I'm pretty much coming to the sad realization that everyday is going to be rough.

Yes, TFA was not lying when they said this was going to be hard. They were not lying when they said we would probably cry everyday until Thanksgiving. Ok. I need to be okay with that.

I talked to my amazing grandmother tonight. I cried and she reminded me of a lot of reasons that I am going to stick around! She also gave me some new good ideas to try with my class.

Tomorrow will be better. Right?

Well...okay...tomorrow may not be better, but tomorrow will be a new day. Tomorrow, I will start fresh with no negative thoughts towards any of my students.

I need to practice grace and forgiveness.

Grace
and
Forgiveness

Lord, please give me wisdom tomorrow. And, please fill me with grace and patience.

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Chris Tomlin's Indescribable

I am here.

Alright...so week 1 is done. This will be my last first week ever as a first year teaching. That is kinda exciting.

Low Point: A girl knocking everything off my desk (pencils, markers, stapler, paper...) and then sitting down like she just showed me up.

High Point: Friday when I got through two entire lessons!

It turns out I have more strictness in me than I thought. I am trying my best to be consistent and to be solid. This is going to be a rough first few months, but I will hold my ground.

I have learned a lot these first few days.

1.) I cannot be these kids friend. I am their teacher.
2.) I thought I would be fighting with the kids more...turns out I am pushing against the school, the administration, and other teachers.
3.) I must explain content clearly and consistently or kids will catch my mistakes. Kids will catch every single one of my mistakes.

Legally, I cannot post pictures or names of my students. So, unfortunately I can't tell you about all of the colorful personalities in my classroom... : ) More info to come about my students though!!

Thanks for the encouragement and posts on my blog. I will not merely get through this year, but THRIVE this year, with the encouragement of you, so thank you so much for your consistency! : )

Lyrics I'm Humming:
I Will Survive!

5 minute lunch

I am eating an apple very quickly during my five minute lunch break.

Yesterday was my first day of teaching, and it was ok.

I feel like today is my day of initiation. Today has been rough. I had a girl knock over everything on my desk...pens, markers, tape... all this little stuff. No one helped. All 22 kids just sat and laughed. I let the stuff lay there, because I was not going to get on my hands and knees in this classroom.

Well, I have to go pick up the kids from lunch.

Bye Bye 5 minutes

Tomorrow

School starts tomorrow.

I am freaking out.

I am really overwhelmed.

I need to rest.

I've been at school yesterday (Saturday) and today (Sunday) from 7:30am to 6:00 last night, and I am getting ready to leave right now.

I need to chill before school tomorrow.

I'm going back to my apartment.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Just Breathe.

The Sunshine Today

I feel sorry for people who think more about a rainy day ahead than sunshine today.

-Rae Foley

Wise words, and unfortunately Rae would have been feeling very sorry for me these past few days...

Ahhh! What pure craziness this past week.

I got to my school for the first day of work on Tuesday, and after preparing for Kindergarten, I was given the job as the new Math and Science 5th grade teacher. Ok. Here we go.

While 5th grade was exactly what I wanted (the sunshine today) all I could think about was how overwhelmed I was/am with work and how hard it's going to be teaching pre-pubesant boys and girls (rainy day ahead).

I was so concerned with that that my sunny day became a huge thunderstorm.

So, I'm attempting to bring my umbrella now!

I don't think I can stop the rain...the unorganization of my school, the negative comments about my students, the immense amount of work, the demands of preparing an excellent classroom, and the insecurities of having no idea what that means.

So, if you can't stop the rain, you bring an umbrella. : )

My umbrella has been found in good friends, amazingly encouraging emails and letters, prayers, and strength given to me from incredible supports, and lots of deep breaths.

So, school starts Monday. Monday morning at 8:20, I will meet my 21 students. And, Monday afternoon at 12:00, I will meet my 18 students.

I teach two groups of students. I teach Group A Math and Science in the mornings, and I teach Group B Math and Science in the afternoons.

Butterflies have been eating away at my stomach. I am so nervous. : / And, I am so excited.

This is what I came here to do.

Bring it on Sunshine!

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Sugar, Sugar...ahh..Honey, Honey

A Garden of Kinders

Oh my. Talk about a crazy past few days. After much calling and pressing, Friday at 4:00pm I found out that I am going to be a Kindergarten teacher at Lenora B Smith Elementary School.

Here were my thoughts:

Friday, 4:00pm: Shock.

Friday, 4:02pm: Anger and frustration.

Friday, 4:02-5:00pm: Sadness, anger, lots of crying.

Overnight thoughts....after calling lots of wonderful encouragers and talking out my anger and frustrations and reservations with some good support friends, I am doing much better. Although, still a little frustrated that I spent a summer planning and creating my mentality for 5th graders...I am seeing some great benefits to being a Kindergarten teacher.

Reasons I am excited?? about being a Kindergarten teacher

(I am still having some hesitations and doubts of my ability right now...)

#1) I will be the first thing these students see of education.

#2) It is said that everything you need to know from school, you learn in Kindergarten.

#3) I have a great opportunity to begin molding some key mentalities of generosity, tolerance, kindness, and peace into moldable minds.

#4) I will not be tempted to "teach for the test" with the FCAT (big Florida state tests with lots of pressure and incredibly high-stakes) as Kindergarten does not take the FCAT.

#5) I can be a little crazy and the kids won't make fun of me!

#6) I will be able to use my Haitian Creole with the kids when teaching beginning literacy, where another teacher may not have been able to meet this need of the students.

#7) I can introduce the students to wonderful things such as art, music, social studies, and science, and I will be able to see their fresh eyes!

#8) Kindergarteners are cute!

#9) I think I just became of mother of a classroom of children.

#10) Teaching Kindergarten will definitely give me some patience practice! (much needed and often prayed for!)

Reservations

~I do not know how to teach beginning literacy.

~I do not have a lot of patience.

~I do not want to turn Kindergarten into babysitting or activity driven teaching.

~I am nervous.

~I have lots of planning to do, as I feel I am starting back at scratch.

So, God, thanks for answering my prayer for patience! Oh how funny it is when God answers prayers in ways you do not expect.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

ABCs

Cry Me An Ocean

I'm starting to feel a little pathetic... I am exactly where I want to be...I am doing exactly what I want to be doing...I am living in a city where people vacation... and I can cry at a drop of a hat.

I mean, everything makes me want to cry.

Number of hysterical crying breakdowns in public places here: 2 (once at Bank of America and once at the DHL pickup place)

It is weird...the littlest things are just really getting to me. I am following so many paper trails right now with car insurance, tags, registration, drivers liscence, blah, blah, blah.... I don't know what grade I am teaching. I am just being a baby.

I wish I could just chill and relax and go with the flow. It's really ridiculous.

Example: My blinds fall down all the time. And, the other day, I just started crying about it. I was crying about blinds.

I think I'm just feeling really out of my league here...I'm feeling very overwhelmed. I'm nervous to start teaching. I really hope I make a difference. And, I wish I could concentrate on preparing my classroom, but so many little things are taking over my time and energy.

So, that's what I've been doing the past few days in Miami...crying.

This morning I spent 90 minutes driving around looking for this church to go to...a church only 10 miles from my apartment...a 15 minute drive. I was just totally lost, and I was frustrated.

I called my dad crying (of course). He saved the day. I laughed at how much I've been crying.

I was 90 minutes late to church, so I went to the later service. And, I did not feel welcome at the church. The pastor spoke about how we need to give more and how we need to be out of our comfort zone. Well, I am out. I am here. I have left my zone. I don't want someone telling me to leave my comfort zone. I want someone who is supporting me and encourging me to stay out and hold on.

What is going on with me?

Erg....

Well, there it is. My confusing, frustrated heart right now.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Big Girls Don't Cry

Mi Casa! (sp??)

I love my apartment!!!

I've only been here for about a week, but I love it. This place is seriously my dream apartment. (minus a few details like internet and a dishwasher) The past few days I've been cleaning and organizing...reading and laying out on the beach.

Today, I just biked all over the place. I biked across the Venetian Causeway onto all of the little islands surrounding South Beach. It was lovely.

This Friday I start orientation for Teach for America. I am so excited!

Updates about where/who I'm teaching: TBA : ) I guess I am learning about flexibility here.

My dear friend, Anna, is back from India. I got to talk to her today. It was wonderful.

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Gwen Stefani- Wind it Up

Bienvenido a Miami!

I am here!

Being here in Miami feels like that cold glass of lemonade you've been yearning for after the hot afternoon kickball game. Which doesn't really make sense because it is so hot here! : )

I am so happy to be here. My mom and I are unloading our stuff, and we are moving me into my new home.

I received my first piece of mail today! And, it couldn't have been from anyone better! My beautiful cousin, Sarah, sent me the kindest letter. It was so encouraging, and it was so kind. Sarah is one of the most thoughtful people I have ever met. She is incredibly sincere and real.

Allie (my sister), Sarah (my cousin), Andrea (my cousin), and me ...trying to fake sleep at Christmas time! : )

So, as I unpack my life and get ready to begin a new adventure in Miami, I feel so lucky. I feel so blessed. And, I feel so joyful!

So, Welcome to Miami!

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Welcome to Miami by Will Smith (of course!)

Hit the Road Jack!

Me in my classroom before the students arrive, getting ready for the day!

Well, today, my mom and I begin to 24+ hour trek down to Miami Beach! I am so excited to get down there and settle in.

My last day of teaching in Atlanta (Friday) was wonderful. The kids wrote their own acrostic poems, and I was blown away at the creativity and hard work of the students. Their poems were wonderful! We had a readers theater and shared our poems with the class. It was very emotional to see kids who the first day of summer school wouldn't even say their name aloud in front of the class. Now, those same students are reading beautiful poetry as a presentation!

What a change-filled summer. And, I am ready for more!

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Rehab by Amy Winehouse

Am I Good Enough?

Wow. Tomorrow is my last day teaching 3rd grade at Woodson Elementary in inner city Atlanta. I am ready. I am sad. I am excited. I am tired. I am rejuvenated.

Tonight we had closing ceremonies. Tears filled my eyes and sniffles my nose as we reflected on the past 5 weeks through pictures, speakers, videos, and thoughts.

I think tonight was the first time I really internalized the movement that I am apart of. I am one teacher in a group of thousands who dedicate their lives to closing the achievement gap in the Land of Opportunity. I am a part of the vision. I am a part of the movement. I am Teach for America.

I think before tonight I looked at Teach for America as "them." However, it is me. Teach for America is people. People are what we live for. People are who we work for. People are why I wake up every morning before the sun has a chance to say "hello."


Where I eat breakfast at Georgia Tech each morning

In fact, every day I way up and I must choose excellence over mediocrity.
I do not merely want to survive life...
...I want my life to thrive...

Thrive, not survive.



Every day, I must increase (not just maintain) effort in the face of challenge.

Opera, when working with educational injustices internationally, asked the question, "Am I good enough?" I ask myself this question every day. What am I doing here? Did Teach for America make a mistake when accepting me?

My insecurities in my ability to teach students only hurts the students I am trying to help. My insecurities contributes to the achievement gap.

So, tonight...I am on a mission. I am in the vision. I am here to bring part of the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth: a place where children are equal and people are valued regardless of race, location, or class.

I have learned this summer that I need to get over myself.

This is not about me.

College was about me...it was about my learning, it was about my growth, it was about my academics.

Teaching in inner city Miami will not be about me.
There is not time for me to be frustrated...my students do not have time for me to be unprepared.

So, I sit here, going to bed at midnight...ready to wake up in about 4 hours. And, I am ready. I am so content right now. I am so peaceful right now.

I feel at peace right now.

I leave myself with this challenge...one that I hope you will remind me of in October 2007 when I am frustrated, overwhelmed, and tired: Be open that this experience will change you.

So, am I good enough? It doesn't matter. I have to be. My students deserve the best. I have no other choice than to be good enough every day for the kids in my classroom.

Lyrics I'm Humming:
This is the Air I Breathe

What Causes the Gap?

5:00am.

This morning, I am up knowing that there will only be two more days here! Friday the 13th is our last day teaching.

Yesterday, the students took the infamous CRCT (Georgia state test). It was definitely an experience. If these students do not pass the test, they do not go onto 4th grade.

The expectations for my students at Woodson Elementary School in Atlanta are very different from the expectations that were held for me as a third grader in West Des Moines, Iowa.

The injustice in the system is so prevalent the moment to glimpse into the system.

What makes for this huge achievement gap?

When "average" people are polled, they say that parents, lack of parental involvement, and parents who do not care about their students are what cause the gap. This feeds into the bias that poor parents do not care about their children.

However, the same poll among educators comes up with a different answer: Low expectations, poor teacher quality, and poor principal quality are what cause this gap between the rich students and the poor students.

So, I guess I am about to start working on closing this gap.

There were some definite frustrations this summer, and I question if the students learned anything; however, this summer is making me very excited to teach in Miami!

Lyrics I'm Humming
Ben Harper: Change the World With My Own Two Hands

Just breathe...

Being in Atlanta has been interesting... I feel as if I sometimes lose myself in the midst of all the busy-ness. It is somewhat relieving though to understand that the "busy-ness" that manifests itself so awfully in my daily schedule is for a greater purpose.

This summer I have had an influence on 12 3rd grade scholars! : ) I don't know how much influence, but I hope my positivity and love for learning has rubbed off on each of them.

I feel that so many times we get so caught up in our daily mundane tasks that's it's hard to step back and see the big picture. So often we just go through the motions... why is that?

Why do humans search for the habitual?

Is habit what makes us human?

I have been struggling with my daily schedule...I dread getting up at 5:00 am because I know my day will be full of challenges and growth. What is wrong with me?

"And the day came when the pain of staying in a tight bud

became greater than the risk it takes to bloom."

-Anais Nin

I am here to help a greater cause, and I am here for kids who do not have the opportunity to receive an exceptional education.

However, there are so many systematic sins that I've been experiencing daily.

Today, my prayer is for the mundane, the schedules, the daily tasks that consume us. What are we living for? What is the point?

"Our lives begin to end the moment we become silent about things that matter."

I need to always remember my purpose if I am to survive these next two weeks in Atlanta. I've been here for three weeks, but it feels like months.

I will continue because I believe I am a part of a bigger movement to end educational injustices.
I will continue.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

I'm Falling On My Knees, Offering All of Me.

Oh ...You Silly Rollercoaster of Life!

Oh my! I can't even begin to tell you how crazy this day was! I feel like I was just thrown around on an upside down, arms hanging all over rollercoaster!

5:00am-wake up. tired. starting to feel a little depressed. questioning why I am doing this.

6:00am-exhausted. falling asleep.

7:15am-meeting with one of my "trouble girl's" mom. I was super nervous. I called the mom last night, asking her for a meeting to discuss her daughter. We met at 7:15 and I was feeling like a little girl trying to act like a big girl...I felt like I was playing teacher in my basement. The conversation went very well, and the girl was an angel all day in class!

8:00-still dragging...

9:00am-when is lunch?

10:00am- fell asleep in the bathroom...

11:00am- Teaching kids! Yeah! Highlight! I love being in the classroom

12:30pm-back to being exhausted...

****12:50- Special announcement from our School Director that we had an emergency meeting in the libray. (Great, 10 minutes off of my short break...)

12:50: He told us to bring laptops to take notes on... His tone was serious as he told us that we were not meeting our goals and were needing to stay late at school today for an extra 3 hours! What?! The buses were going to pick us up at 8:00pm and take us straight to our Learning Team Night Classes at Georgia Tech. Urg....

I thought I was going to officially enter depression...

He built up this new strategy that the staff was going to teach the teachers. We were all dragging...

.......Then....after a ten minute build up the staff surprised us and told us that the buses were waiting in the parking lot and that we had the ENTIRE afternoon off!!! No Learning Team Night Classes! No afternoon sessions!!!

Ahh!!!! My eyes welded up with tears! My friend Elaina started crying! What the heck is going on?!?! I was so excited!

We had NOTHING to do this afternoon?!?!

We all ran to the buses with our stuff and greated the bus drivers with HUGE grins!

Then...they made it better! They gave us coupons for Barnes and Noble, pedicures, manicures, masssages, and told us that there was a BBQ on campus at 5:30!

Sweetness!

So, me and some girls went to Midtown Atlanta and got our nails done! I fell asleep in the massage chair! : )

What a wonderful afternoon!

How amazing that a horrible morning can be transformed into such a beautiful night!

Oh man! I love surprises!

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Build Me Up Buttercup by The Foundations

The Only Constant is Change...

(I did not take this picture!)

Wow...where to start? These past three weeks have felt like months.

Quick Summary of What I'm Doing:
-I'm teaching in inner city Miami this Fall through Teach for America. I am so stinkin excited!

-Right now, I'm in inner city Atlanta training for the summer. The training is hard. It's a total boot camp. I'm teaching 3rd Grade at Woodson Elementary School (Gettin' It Done Woodson!)

-My schedule is 5:00am to about 9:30pm (and then I write lesson plans at night for the next day of class)

-I am learning about how to work. I don't work harder; I work smarter!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel like I've been thown into a hurricane,

and I don't know how to swim.

It's been a whirlwind of learning,

thinking, trying,

messing up, and laughing.

For the first time in the past three weeks, I got to b r e a t h e. Tonight, I went to this wonderful church...It was such a great treat. Thank you Lord for Your perfect timing.

I am seriously struggling with my desire to change the world as well as my desire to enjoy the world.

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy...If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But, I rise in the morning torn between a desire to improvef the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
-E.B. White

Christianity is not as black and white as the Pharisees claim it to be...It can be messy. People are messy.
Embrace the fact that things get messy!

Hold the non-negotiable parts of scripture closed hand. Hold the gray areas open hand.

Look to scriptures...not to American Christian culture.

I am learning so much right now. I wish I could pin-point a common theme or trend to pass on to you!

But...for now I'm going to have to leave you with this: You sing all around...But I never hear the sound. Lord, I'm amazed by You. Lord, I'm amazed by You. Lord, I'm amazed by You. How You love me.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Psalm 13 by Shane and Shane

A Grand Entrance

This past sunday, I had the best Palm Sunday service ever. At Church Under the Bridge we remembered Palm Sunday by having Jesus enter the church on a donkey. It was an incredibly moving experience.


Jesus was played by a homeless man named Evan. It was so real and beautiful watching Evan become Jesus. In fact...Jesus was a homeless man himself. Jesus was a pedestrian god. He was a walking man. And, the one time that he "splurged" on transportation, he took a donkey!



We all lined up in the back of the church, everyone holding palm leaves. And, we waved them, sang, and celebrated as Jesus rode through on the donkey. It was such a human experience. Jesus was waving, smiling, laughing, telling kids to be careful, kinda tipping off the donkey. I thought he was gonna fall off the animal one time! It was very human.
A motorcycle in the back of the church...after Jesus rode on the donkey, he rode the motorcycle back and forth! How beautiful.

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On Palm Sunday, we also did a feet washing ceremoy. Micheal, the man in the orange hat above, washed my feet, and I in turn washed Robert's (the man kneeling in the white shirt). Robert then washed Morgan's (a college friend) feet. It was so humbly to have Micheal wash my feet. He took so much care and detail in the process.

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Two women, Freddie and her friend, listening to the sermon and songs.

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Two people praying during the service with their dog.

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Singing and dancing to music after church!

Man, I love this church!