Life Is About Sharing

One of my favorite things Jesus said was in Matthew 25 when he talked about he or she who helps the "least of these" is actually helping Jesus. If you give to the hungry, love the little children, spend time with the elderly...you are in reality feeding Jesus, loving Jesus, and giving yourself to Him.

(Kingston is in the blue shirt. This is Kingston, Dominique, Michelson, and I at the beach yesterday. Kingston paid for me, Mathilde, and Makendy to get in and he paid for us to eat...)

But, I see that verse in a much deeper light now. Kingston, one of the most beautiful Christian men I've ever met, explained to me a simple concept: Sharing Life. He sees following Jesus as living a life of sharing. He shares everything he has.

(Emilio's dad cutting me a piece of sugar cane with a huge smile on his face. He finds so much joy in sharing his food with us.)

Life is about sharing time.

Life is about sharing stories with each other.

Life is about sharing food.

Live is about sharing things.

Life is about sharing love.

Life is about sharing laughs.

If you have excess of something, you should always share it. Kingston has taught me so much of what it means to be generous. His humility and generosity have blown me away this summer.

And, I see so much joy in sharing. If everyone just shares what he or she has, what a beautiful world that would be.

I feel that it is so important to share lives with each other. I grow so much from others' advice and others' experiences. Kingston has shared with me his story and his life, and I shared with him my story and my life. And, in a very beautiful fashion, we were both able to connect and grow together.

My mom and dad always taught me, Allie, and Kelly the importance of a "tennis-match" conversation. This is the type of conversation where you share something, the other person shares something, and then you ask questions,a dn the other person asks questions. It's just like a tennis-match. And, that is sharing conversation. One sided conversation is so selfish and ungenerous.

Generosity is maybe the one quality I want to strive for most in my life. What an amazing compliment to have someone tell you that you are a generous person.

I have seen so much generosity here in Haiti.

And, I have seen so much sharing.

(Emilio's mom with a beautiful smile on her face. I gave her one of the bookmarks that Grandma and I made...and, she wore it as a necklace. And, she loves it! It's so beautiful on her! She's always sharing food, water, life, smiles, and comfort with me and Mathilde whenever we visit her in Destra)

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Sharing my hat with a beautiful little boy in Destra.

Emilio's mom sharing her home, food, and water with me and Mathilde every time we come to Destra.

Kingston sharing his money with me and everyone around him who asks for help.

Sharing laughs with the kids in the house.

My guitar string broke, and Kingston took my guitar, bought me all new strings, and restrung my entire guitar. That is sharing money, time, and love.

Sharing money and food when someone asks you.

Sharing medicine with a friend who is suffering with serious toothaches.

Giving your time to someone else. For me, giving time is one of the most beautiful ways to share.

So, when Jesus talks about giving to the "least of these"...this is so much deeper than merely giving...it is a matter of sharing and being generous. Jesus gave when people needed something, and he also gave when people wanted something. Jesus gave with a servant heart, not making others feel guilty for His gift.

But, at the same time, I am realizing that sharing with others is hard. It is so hard to share your things with others...it is hard to share your time and energy with others. It is tiring to always share an open ear with someone in need. And, that is where God comes in. I am constantly in desperate need of God to strengthen me. I am so weak on my own.

Prayers are deeply needed for me and Mathilde's safety to the Port-au-Prince airport. Tuesday, August 1 from 6am to 10:45isham we'll be going on the journey to the airport. And, prayers are also needed for the many goodbyes I'm having to say. Pray for my goodbye with Makendy, especially. He has noone in his life who unconditionally loves him. I feel like I've given him that this summer...but, what am I doing? I'm leaving him. Everyone leaves Makendy. I hate this. Please pray for my energy and strength these last few days. Thank you all.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

This is the air I breathe...I'm desperate for You...

Tears

I don't think I've ever understood crying before living in Haiti. I've only cried for myself. I don't think I've ever in my life bawled for the misery of someone else.

My tears are so hard here.

On Sunday, I was at a Catholic Church and it was so beautiful. I completely lost all control of my emotions and began bawling. I had to run back to the house where I could barely breathe I was crying so hard. I was screaming and I was hurting. I fell onto my knees. I had no idea what other position to be in. My face was down. My tears were uncontrolable. I thought I was going to hyperventalate. My heart was burning. I can't believe what I'm seeing here.

The misery in Haiti is unbearable. It is overwhelming.

Every person. Every single person. Everyone has a horrible story of misery.

I know nothing.

Why are children beat?

Why is violence accepted?

How can people go hungry?

Often, I'll ask someone how they're doing...and their answer is "Not too well...I'm hungry." Wow. I've never heard that response before in my life. I don't have any concept of hunger.

My tears in Haiti have been unlike any tears I've ever felt. They are tears of complete grief. It's uncontrolable.

Last night, Mathilde and I bawled so hard that we ended up on the floor laughing. I don't know how to handle myself with so much misery. My body is going crazy.

I threw-up three times yesterday. I have been shaking. I have been getting chills. My body has never seen such sadness...and physically, it's going out-of-control. My face is breaking out like crazy. It's like my body is trying every self-defense mechanism to keep me sane. I've never felt like this before.

Haiti is in slavery. The entire country is enslaved. It is in an Economic Slavery. The chains are invisible...but everyone is a slave. They are slaves because they can't leave their country. They are slaves because there is nothing to do. There is no where to work. They are slaves to misery.

Little children sing miserable songs while playing jump-rope of orphans and hunger. In America, little kids sing songs about Rowing A Boat. I can't believe what I've seen here.

Slavery here is unbelievable.

We need a movement of abolitionists. Slavery needs to be abolished in Haiti.

I can't breathe. The slavery is so intense that I can't breathe. And, when I do breathe the polluted air enters my lungs.

I can't drink water from the facet. There is no water for the people to drink. Water. Water is the most basic need. They don't have drinking water. I don't understand that.

And, yet, all I can think about is Makendy. I love him so much. All I want is to give him a family of unconditional love. He has so many things going against him right now in his life. We cried today outside on the curb. We cried because of teh misery he faces. He daily faces hunger, violence, hatred, and he has no constant love in his life. I can't believe I'm leaving him. I love him so much. I want to give him a family of love. I want so bad to bring him home with me and show him the amazing family love that I have. I want him to run. I want him to go to school. I want him to feel free. I want him to be able to drink water. To take a shower in a shower. To sleep in a bedroom. I want him to feel like someone always loves him no matter what. What would Christ do? For what you do to the least of these, you do to Me. I have so many things I could sell to get money to bring him home. I have so much excess.


Once again, I am crying. But, right now I'm holding my tears back. I feel like a real Haitian. That's something Haitians are very good at...hiding their tears. Hiding their sorrow. Everyone does it. Everyone hides the uncontrolable tears that was to explode at every moment of the day.

Please someone...tell me what to do. I am at a complete loss.

Lord, you are so beautiful. Why do so many children go hungry? Why is there a little girl living across the street as a slave? Why do moms beat their kids? Why do dads leave their families? I don't understand. But, Lord, I do have hope. I will always have hope. Please use me, God. Please use me in one small way to further your Kingdom. All I want is to see your Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. Please, give children their daily bread. I love you.

Tuesday, August 1, from 6:00am to 10:30am I'm going to be going to the Port-au-Prince airport with Mathilde. We are in serious need of prayer and protection. There have been a lot of kidnappings lately in P-au-P.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

The miserable funeral march song that plays daily in Leogane as there are so many funerals in this town.

Funny Summer

So many emotions have raced through my mind these past few days.

I've screamed at God.
I've cried because of the sadness in Leogane.
I've felt community in Destra.
I've felt love from Makendy.
I've felt lonliness.
I've missed my family.
I've laughed.
I've felt free! At Destra, I ran up and down the beach as fast as I could.
I've felt trapped. I can never find a place to be alone.
I am alone.
But, I can never be alone.

Kedjen's face up close and personal. Man, that girl makes me laugh!

However, I've been trying to hard to find humor and laughter. And, I've definitely found it.

I met a group of guys who have given me so much laughter these past few weeks! Here's just a few things that we've done together!

~The guys are so colorful! They run a club called Funny Summer. It's a summer-school for youth ages 15-25, where they teach English and French. But, they do it in such a fun way! Mathilde and I have been twice to the club, and both times we've ended up teaching! There are over 150 people who come, and it is so beautiful how much they love learning. Everyone looks at us with wide, bright eyes adn is just excited to hear what we have to say. Funny Summer is the vision of the group of guys I've been hanging out with. They want to change the mentality of the youth in Leogane, adn I think they're doing a great job.

~The guys are Kingston (a guy who sings Reggae sooo well!), Mr. X, Dali, Wisley, and Daniel. They all speak really slang, funny English. And, conversation is so real. They're not asking for money. They're not asking for my contact information. They're not talking about my skin pigment. They are just friends interested in Me.

~Kingston, Mr. X., and Dali work at a radio station in Leogane. And, yesterday Mr. X was in Port-au-Prince getting a Visa...so, Mathilde and I were on the radio! We were on from 2:00pm-4:00pm and it was hilarious! I had no idea what to talk about!!

~They all call me Rapp. Super fun!

~Kingston, Dali, Makendy, Mathilde and I went to a dance/singing performance Friday night. We got in for free, because Dali works for the radio and we were with him! : ) It was awesome watching all the dances! Haitians can definitely entertain!

~Kingston, Dali, Mr. X, and Daniel bought me and Mathilde and Makendy cokes at Au Bon Cafe the other night. It was so nice to have someone treat me to something!

~Kingston is one of the neatest people I've ever met. I don't think I've ever met anyone like him. Last night, Kingston, Mathilde and I were at Au Bon Cafe talking for hours. He is such an incredible servant of God. He has visions and ideas for Haiti, and he is working so hard for the youth in Leogane. He uses Funny Summer and his radio station to reach out to the community. I'm just blown away with him and his humility.

I had a really intense moment Sunday night. I was bawling, screeming, and incredibly sad. The misery in Haiti was just to much for me to handle. I needed a hug from God/. I needed to know that He loved me. I needed him to say Good Job...Keep Going. I was in desparate need of Him. I wanted him to move my right foot in front of my left foot so I could keep walking.

And, Monday and today, God hugged me. He hugged me so tight that I couldn't not see his love.

~I got encouraging messages from my friends on Facebook, email, and Blog comments.
~Kingston told me thank you for my hardwork at Ma Petite Ecole.
~The stars were incredible last night.
~Sunday night, it was kind of cool in my room and I didn't wake up sweating.
~The kids were calm in school yesterday and today.

I can't believe I have only two weeks left here. I am just starting to feel community and I am just starting to understand these beautiful people I see daily.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

I Will Survive

Kingdom Living

Images of Light

The soft light setting behind the south sea of Haiti in Destra. Jaime is the boy on the right with the huge stick steering the fishing boat.

The light barely touching Makendy's family's boat.

So, for Phi Lamb, we are sending out a summer newsletter to all the girls...and I thought I'd share with you what I wrote for it...So here goes...

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I don’t think I ever understood fully the meaning of darkness before living in Haiti for almost 3 months. I understood “dark”…but not “darkness.” Darkness is when night after night you see the color black after the sun is gone. Sometimes you can’t tell if your eyes are open or closed. And, if you’re lucky…sometimes if the moon is bright enough you can see your hand in front of your face.

Well…the house I’m living in has a generator that sometimes works for about an hour at night. It’s always a surprise when it turns on…but, when it’s on we cheer with excitement because now we can see.

I’ve been reading the Good News of Jesus and every time it speaks of light I pay attention. Jesus truly is our light. I’ve seen the simple beauty of this concept before but I’ve never actually grasped the magnificent necessity of Jesus, the Light. It’s so essential to have light.

Without it, I take showers in the blackness with cockroaches brushing against my feet…Without it, I loose a contract because I accidentally missed my case and by the morning the contact was dried up.

The most amazing thing I find about light is that you really don’t need a lot of it to erase the darkness. Just one small candle can change a loud blackness to a soft light. Jesus tells Christians we are the light of the world.

“You can’t blame the darkness for being dark…
but, you can blame the light for not shining on the darkness.”

However, I see in myself a huge fault of pride. And, I humbly realize…I’m not Jesus’ only light. There are servants all over the world showing the light of Jesus. I’m learning to have more humility, less pride, and to empower and encourage other Christians who are living Kingdom lives.

…I have an amazing father who constantly tries to make moral business decisions to show others Jesus…

...I have a beautiful friend who is dedicating her summer to growing and challenging the faith of a bunch of youth…

...I met a down-to-earth woman who lives in the mountains of southern Haiti showing God’s compassion as a nurse in an orphanage…

God’s light is shining all over the world.
So many people are dedicating their daily lives to spreading the flame.
And…illuminating darkness…that is Kingdom living.

~Grace and Joy~
Megan

Lyrics I'm Humming:

This is the Air I Breathe...I'm Desperate For You.

Yesterday

"Look at my servant, whom I strengthen. She is my chosen one, and I am pleased with her. I have put my spirit upon her."

~Isaiah 42:1~

Yesterday was an interesting day. And, by interesting I mean good, bad, ugly, beautiful, hard, and rewarding.

We (Mathilde and I) woke up around 7:00 am to the sound of the rooster outside our window. I was exhausted and needed some strong coffee to get me going.

Good: I turned my quote book to find Isaiah 42:1 smiling back at me (above verse)

Frustrating: Around 8:00 am, I went down to breakfast to find (once again) nothing on the table for us. The concept of being on time for school does not really exist here in Leogane. The school starts at 9:00am, and noone makes it on time. So, Mathilde and I waited and finally at 9:15am we find breakfast...no coffee, but a big plate of spaghetti. I'm still exhausted.


Tiring: The kids were out of control yesterday. I feel more like a babysitter sometimes than a teacher. We have about 20 3yr olds...and about 20 kids who can somewhat write (5-12 yr olds). It's an incredibly hard group to control because of the diverse ages and levels, the summer fever, and the lack of help from the other teachers. Mathilde and I sweat like crazy at school...we are running...we are somewhat yelling...we are running out of ideas...we are frustrated.

Sad: Yesterday, 3 of the teachers sat around while Mathilde was teaching and talked about her and laughed. No...they didn't help control the wild 3 yr olds...No, they didn't offer to help. They laughed at her.

Exhausting: Once again, someone came up to me and asked me if there was something wrong with my nose...what kind of question is that? I asked her if there was something wrong with her nose...Then we both just awkwardly stared at each other.

Relieving: After class, Mathilde and I went up to our room to cry and laugh and vent and cry some more. It's so frustrating sometimes.

Disappointing: While up in our room, I fell asleep...Mathilde overheard a conversation about me and her. They were talking about how Mathilde and I always want coffee in the morning. Man, I am seriously not having a good day.

Adventurous: Azure (who works at the Filariosis House) came to pick me and Mathilde up to show us the house adn their project in Leogane. The house was funded by Bill and Melinda Gates and is incredibly out of place. It's a huge white mansion next to the impoverished market. It's an incredly ironic view. I definitely felt the American Exceptionalism/ City of a Hill concept standing in the house.

Sad: On the walk back from the Filarisis house, there was a group of guys who started yelling...and by yelling, I mean screaming...at me in English... "WHITE! WHITE! ARE YOU STUPID!!? WHITE!!? STUPID!!!" I just kept walking and ignored them...but, it just hurts to have a people group you adore so much sometimes show so much anger towards you. And, I know these guys were just bored and weren't being directly mean at me. But, it still hurts my feelings when someone screams racist things at me while I'm walking down the street.

Thought-provoking: So, Mathilde and I ate dinner/lunch at 4:00pm...It was fish. Now, the fish here is very funky tasting...so on fish days Mathilde and I just eat a little bit...because after meals of fish...let's just say Mathilde, me and the bathroom become pretty good friends... Well...at dinner/lunch. I was just feeling really down about the whole day. Am I making any difference here? What am I doing? How can you ever feel at home in a place that daily reminds you that you are not at home. Me and God spent some time together after dinner...I just cried and prayed...And, I fell asleep with God. For the first time, I actually worshiped God through rest. Wow. What a beautiful concept.

Uplifting: So, I eventually woke up and read Isaiah 42: 1 again.

"Look at my servant, whom I strengthen. She is my chosen one, and I am pleased with her. I have put my spirit upon her."

Well, after 6:00pm, God definitely strengthed me. And, I was in much need of some serious strenghening. I mean, I really needed a good solid workout strengthening every single muscle.

Funny: Makendy, John, Mathilde, and I all ended up on the upper balcony. John was playing a drum and Makendy was singing. And, for about an hour we just sang and laughed and danced. I just kept thinking about how much I love this crazy Haitian boy, Makendy. He has such a beautiful energy to him. And, John is such an incredibly servant-hearted person. He is a Christian and he is always so excited to talk about Bondye (God in Creole). I just laughed and wanted to cry because it was such a beautiful hour.

Relaxing: Our friend, Stesha, who just left this morning for the USA. (She worked at the St Croix hospital for about 6 weeks here in Leogane) came over to the house adn we all went over to Au Bon Cafe to have our favorite drink!!! Lait Fouetee! These are wonderful! Whipped milk with strawberries! Ronald (a security guard at the hospital), Gesley (a dance instructor in Leogane), Stesha, Mathilde, Makendy, John, me, and the workers of Au Bon Cafe all hung out for the next few hours. We laughed and told jokes. John brought in a radio and we all ended up dancing Compa! Compa is the Haitian dance! It was such a nice treat from such a frustrating day.

About midnight, we went to bed. I can't believe all the emotions that I felt today.

But, looking back at my days here in Leogane, that is often how the days have been. God gives me a challenge, I barely survive it, He saves me, I cry, I laugh, and then He gives me something to think about.

Man, God is so good.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

If I Could Just Sit With You a While

What is Beauty.

Every experience of beauty points us towards eternity...

Thursday, my quote book from my wonderful Baylor friends was the above quote. So, I decided to spend the entire day looking for beauty. And, boy...it was everywhere!

I'd like to change the quote a little and say too that...

Every experience of beauty shows us the Creator...

My list of beauty is endless...so I decided to just show you 10 views from Thursday.

1.) We took the kids from Ma Petite Ecole to Ecole des Freres...we played outside all day long! The kids had so much energy and so much life. And, Nicolas and Bernadette (two teachers) were so amazing with the kids. And, the smiles on the kids faces...it was beautiful.

2.) Makendy spent the whole morning helping us control the kids. He is so cute with the kids! He swings them around and plays games and plays soccer and just loves them!

3.) We went to Destrain (a city on the sea) to see Emilio's and Makendy's family. The drive to Destrain was incredible. Creativity in Haiti is amazing. It's beautiful how creative people are when they have nothing. I saw so many bridges along side the road crossing over the river which were incredibly inventive...people made bridges out of everything...trees, garbage, tin, ladders, plants, ropes...

4.) The sea at Destrain was beautiful. The pollution wasn't as bad as I've seen it here. And, you could just see forever. It's so beautiful to think how calm and peaceful God can make the sea...but, He can also make it loud and deadly. But, in both situations...it's still the same sea. Isn't that a beautiful comparision to who God is??

5.) I swam in the sea and a bunch of the boys we were with gave me starfish! It was so great! They were so beautiful. And, the kids were so happy to give me something that made me smile so much! I eventually got up enough courage and went to the bottom to try and find myself a starfish!

6.) Makendy brought his new shoes and soccerball to Destrain...and the second his family and friends saw this...there was about 30 guys following him. I followed and they went out to this dirty open area to play a long game of soccer! It's beautiful to see such a love for a sport.

7.) Makendy's mom looks just like Makendy.

8.) When we were at Emilio's house, the grandpa brought out his best dining room chairs so we could have something comfortable to sit on. Servanthood...Generosity...Hospitality...

9.) Drinking coconut juice. Emilio and Makendy climbed up a tree and took a big machete to cut us some fresh coconuts...

10.) The sky. The sky was incredible. It was so clear and so blue. And, there were just enough clouds in the sky to hide the intense sun. God, you have created so many beautiful things...

Beauty is everywhere. When you think about it enough, you can find beauty in anything. God's imagination and sure genious blows me away.

God, You are beautiful.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

I Have a River

Cabin Fever

On my country's Day of Independence, I can't help but reflect on some big questions of human rights. And I can't help but think about some dark parts to America...

Here are some things that have invaded my thoughts today:

~American Exceptionalism...and our hurting cultures domestically and abroad
~Freedom and what it means to actually be free. Why do the caged birds sing?
~Money. Capitalism has enslaved me and all of America. How does a Christian deal with living in a money-consumed society.
~The Land of Opportunity
~Social mobility
~Poverty in Des Moines
~College education and how amazing the US has educated me
~The desire of so many Haitians to study in the US or in Canada because they long for an education
~Roads in the US...They're paved, they are taken care of, they are a positive externality
~Positive Externalities n the US (roads, parks...)
~Negative Externalities in hte US (pollution...)

I adore my country. I feel so patriotic today. At school, I had the kids do a fun activity. We all cut out 3 stars: one white, one red, and one blue. I then told them that ttoday was a special holiday in the US...the exact same thing as the 1st of January for Haiti. It's our day of independence.

The kids then colored pictures on the 3 stars...the American flag, stars, stripes, USA, scrbbles... It was so fun to see what they colored! One girl, Sarafina, traced her hand on the white star. She then colored it in with red stars. What a beautiful image, I thought to myself. That's exactly what the Fourth of July in America is all about. Our handprints show our independence. Each of us has our own image...our own handprint...our own imprint of the Independence Day.

Freedom....

Freedom is something I do not feel here in Haiti. Mathilde and I have been calling it Cabin Fever. And, we are definitely feeling some serious Cabin Fever. We can't (and shouldn't) walk around the city without a gang of bodyguards...why? Because we're white. We work in the mornings at teh school and then we go to the hous and find things to do in the backyard, in our rooms, or anound the house. But...boy has Cabin Fever hit us hard. I just wanna run and screem and dance and sing and ride my bike and walk around!

I feel as if I'm trapped.

But, living in Haiti for a long enough time teaches me that I'm not the only one who feels this Cabin Fever.

Haitians are trapped.

They are trapped in Leogane...There is nothing to do in this city. People that I live with talk about this often with me. If you need anything...education, materials, medical care, supplies...you must go to Port-au-Prince.

They are trapped in Haiti...Haitians have so many obstacles preventing them from traveling or living in other countries. Getting a passport to visit America is not enough...Every Haitian needs a Visa just to travel to the USA for a weekend. And, gietting a Visa or a passport in Haiti is a huge event. You must take language tests, have money, have connections, have money to get ytourself to and from Port-au-Prince a dozen times to fill out forms, turn forms in, an dbring more money, you must have so many things that are so hard for Haitians to get.

I'm not the only one who feels Cabin Fever. Haitians are in their own cabin and they are often trapped by their position in the world. Not every Haitian want to get out of Haiti...but, there is still a sense of wanting more. They know there is a better way to live. They can see the pollution on their roads, they can smell the almost dead dogs, they can see the poverty. They know misery...and they want out.

I've been doing so much praying and thinking about Haiti. Gosh, I love this country. Gosh, I love these people. Haiti will always be a part of my life.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD

A Glimpse Through My Lens

Images of Leogane, Haiti

Images of God

Images of Life

Images of Suffering

Images of Love

Image of Oppression

Images of Grace

Images of Misery

Images of Humility

Images of Christ

Fete de Dieu...Catholics all over walked the streets on this day singing praises to God.

The sugar cane leaves surrounding the street on Fete De Dieu. It was such a beautiful sight.

Immacula making chicken.

The guitar and music has been such an international language for me here. I met a man who wanted to play my guitar. I let him, and his music was incredible. He sang Alleluia and he sang for Bondye (God). It was such a beautiful moment.

Makendy...the boy I just adore. I wish I could just take him home with me and give him a family, food, opportunities...He deserves so much. The other day I gave him a pair of soccer cleats...and he freaked out! He was in shock! He gave me a huge kiss on the cheek and just couldn't stop thanking me! It was so beautiful though...He's such a good kid.

Immacula (the cook) buying onions from a lady. She walks on the street with all the onions on her head! I can't believe the balance and strength it takes to do that!

Linda...Emilio's wife. She's the beautiful lady who sings so loud, yet walks and talks so slowly.


Lou Lou...He's the son of MaryLou (the lady who cleans). He's adorable, but definitely has a hard life to deal with. He's one of the students at Ma Petite Ecole.




Vanessa, Kedjen, Erline, and Claudianna in the pink. Four super cute girls at Ma Petite Ecole. Kedjen (the curious girl looking in the camera) is such a little pickle! But, how I adore her even more!

Lyrics I'm Humming:

What a Wonderful World