Dirty French!

So, there are two types of stereotypical French talk...There is the poodle French (I like to call it)...where there are little French girls saying Oh La La! and wearing light pink, black, and white and are walking their little poodles down the Champs Elysees...















Then, there is my prefered stereotypical French talk...the dirty French talk...This type of dirty French comes out of the mouths of hairy, old French men saying Hon Han Hon in an outrageously French accent. They're smoking their cigarette and drinking their red wine...

Well, I'd like to give you a glimpse of the real, Dirty, France that I have encountered...so far...

Real Dirty French:

-Taking the bus is incredibly hard...Do not stand up when the bus moves...YOU WILL FALL...and there will be a baby stroller in your way that you will fall flat on...(not like that's happened or anything...)

-In the Metro today, I had to ride for about 20 long minutes with two smelly French men's armpits in my face.

-Sexy Poodle French Woman Caught Picking Her Nose in Park by the Palace of Luxembourg*

-Don't say "Je m'oublie" to your French professor...it doesn't mean...I forgot...but, it actually means "My bowel movements are really heavy and out of control." Oops!

-Don't tell a guy he is "tres mignon" (for girls that means cute....but for guys it is a sexual connotation meaning he looks gay!)

-Don't tell a liberal, crazy French man that you are A. A Conservative Christian B. A Bush Supporter or C. From Texas. (I didn't do this one...by my lovely housemate, Erin, did!)

-Number of Mullhawks seen: 4

-I saw another awkwardly old man (but not old enough for this to be funny) performing a puppet show on the Metro. Whatever! Paris is so freakin sweet!

-I was talking to this guy by the Eiffle Tower (and by talking to this guy...I mean trying to tell a vendor that I didn't want to buy a light-up Eiffle Tower) and he thought I was from Holland!! Yeah! I was so excited that my French didn't sound so terrible American!

-I asked, "Est-ce que vous avez un stylo?" to two people (which means "Do you have a pen?") And, they laughed incredibly hard...I still have no idea what was so dang funny...maybe it's some sort of weird French slang that I don't know yet...

-I saw the crypt where Voltaire and Rousseau's body are!! I guess you could say I saw them
"chillin" haha

-The French (particularly Parisians) think George W. Bush made/created/directed Hurricane Katrina to New Orleans because of the black population...whatever...

-I saw a lady totally hit another car the other day while she was parking...and by "a lady" I mean almost every Parisian driver!

-Real French! I like living here with all of the dirty, reality found everywhere!



*see picture above
**Mullhawk= Half mullet/ Half Mohawk