Tou Va Byen?

(Martino in Destra giving me a salut by the sea. Martino was one of the students at Ma Petite Ecole...lots of personality, that boy!)


When asked how you are in Kreole...you can answer by saying "Tou Va Byen" (meaning "all is well")

And, when asked that question after safely arriving in the US...I don't know how to answer...

How am I?

Well... I made it safely back to West Des Moines, Iowa. Thank you so much for your prayers. They were well heard and much needed. I felt so protected on the car ride from Leogane to the Port-au-Prince airport. God is so amazing.

How am I?

Well...I took a hot shower tonight and used real soap...so I smell good now.

How am I?

I'm not sweating and am comfortably sitting in an air-conditioned room using a fast internet access on my own personal computer.

But, honestly..."Tou Pa Va Byen." ... All is not well...

How am I?

I'm not okay.

I'm incredibly overwhelmed. I can't believe that this morning I was in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere...and now, I am sitting in the richest. The excess here is overwhelming. My bedroom is awful. I can't believe how many things I have.

But, really...the thing that is really making me sick is that I'm not just seeing excess in the US and knowing that there is so much need in Haiti... I am sick because I have friends in Haiti who are hungry right now. I have friends in Haiti who don't have money to go to school. It's no longer just a number or an idea...These people are my friends...my family.

I have no idea what to do. I am completely at a loss for how to explain my thoughts to others. My heart is overflowing with things to say...but, I am horrible at explaining my experience...I either overwhelm the person asking me with too much information, make them feel guilty, or tell them a short story that really doesn't represent my experience.

And, I don't really like thinking of Haiti as an "experience." These past three months are not just "my time in Haiti, and now I move on..." It was my life...It is my life. I have friends in Haiti now. I have family in Haiti now. I hope I never look back at this summer thinking, "Wow, that was so great when I helped Haiti that one time." I hope I will look at this summer as just the first step in my life with Haitians.

(Kingston singing and Wisley playing the guitar at class one Friday at Funny Summer)

My last day (Monday, July 31st) in Leogane was full of emotions. At Funny Summer (the English/French class that Kingston runs), they had a fun party for me and Mathilde. They sang for us and said thank yous and said goodbyes and took pictures. It was so beautiful. I felt so appreciated.

Then, at night, Kingston, Mr. X, Wisley, Pierre, Dali, Dominique, Benoit, John, Makendy, Georgia, Fernandez, Mathilde, and I all had a goodbye party at Au Bon Cafe. Wisley brought his guitar and we sang some good Kreole music! It was such a wonderful time. I just love those guys. They are so full of life and hope, and they have so many ideas for Haiti. It's beautiful. Wow, I am going to miss Kingston.

(Makendy, his mom, and his little brother at her home in Destra)

Man...saying goodbye to Makendy was awful. Yesterday, I gave him a bunch of my things. Allie (my sister) gave me a great Puma soccer backpack..and I just filled it with fun things for Makendy. He was so excited to get all the gifts. He was kissing me and thanking me and crying! It was so beautiful.

(Makendy and I in Destra)

I gave him my French Bible (from Miss Cortez) with lots of notes written by my favorite verses for him. I gave him some of my clothes and shoes and socks. I gave him a great tye-dye soccer ball. I gave him a picture of my family with his name written as a part of the family. I wrote him a letter telling him how much I love him.

(Makendy, Emilio, and I in front of the house this morning before leaving for the airport)

This morning, we rode to the airport with Makendy, Emilio, John, Syro, Yoleine, and Benoit. Makendy and Emilio were both wearing the clothes that I gave them! Emilio was wearing the University of Iowa shirt I gave him, and Makendy was wearing my shirt, shorts, shoes, socks, and carrying the ball I gave him. My eyes swelled with tears.

So, I don't really know yet if "tou va byen." Right now, I am just so happy that I was able to share life with my friends in Leogane this summer. I can't believe that tomorrow morning I'm not going to wake up to roosters and Makendy singing in the backyard. Wow. It just doesn't seem real.

(Coconut tree just after a cold rain at the beach with Funny Summer on Friday)

So, this is an apology for how awful I will be at explaining to you my life in Leogane.

I hope I can do a little bit to show you the beauty, life, and color of Haiti.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

No Woman, No Cry (Bob Marley)