See Where My Feet Take Me

John's feet in the back of a pick-up truck behind our house in Leogane.

Do you know that you can mentally make your physical body sick? Mathilde told me about women in mental asylums who actually think they're pregnant when they're not...and, their stomachs expand as if they're pregnant. Their physical body responds to the mental power. Our minds are so strong.

Today, I was physically sick. But, I think it was (and is) because of my mind. My mind is just not feeling well. I ate one meal today (at Rudy's)...and I felt so gross eating it. I just wanted to throw it up the moment we left the restaurant. I couldn't eat anything else the rest of the night.

But, I was thinking.
I was thinking about Makendy. I was thinking about Emilio.
I was thinking about Kedjen. I was thinking about Mikayel.
I was thinking about my friends...my family.

I drank some water and then decided that I needed to go for a run. My eyes wanted to explode with tears and for some reason all I wanted to do was run.

So, I ran.

I ran so fast and I ran with blurry eyes from the wetness of my tears. I was running for every Haitian who can't run away. I was running for the prisoners who cannot leave. I was running for my friends who are stuck and have so many odds going against them.

In the middle of my run, I stopped and I layed down on the grass looking up at the baby blue sky. There were five vultures circling around me. I wondered if they thought I was dead. The sky looked so huge. It looked so free. And, as I was watching these birds fly...I reminded myself that I maybe saw five birds total in Haiti. What a beautiful thing to see birds in the sky. We are so lucky to have birds to daily remind us of the freedoms we have.

I just cried on the grass. I was crying for so many mixed reasons. Partly, I was tired. Partly, I was sick. But, mostly...I was crying for my friends who can't fly away.

My foot in the sea just north of Leogane.

We all have feet to walk on. We all have feet to run on. It's so weird to look at my feet and think about every place that my feet have touched. I was looking at my feet today, and I just started crying more when I thought about how many places these feet have been. There are so many people in the world who will never be able to go places with their feet. We all should be able to use our feet to experience new land. To experience new life. To experience reality. Why is it that my feet have been able to touch so many beautiful places and see so many wonderful grounds. They're just feet.

Tomorrow I start school at Baylor University. It's my senior year in college. I am so old. I am so young. I have learned so much. I have so much yet to learn.

I think what makes me sad too...people I who have the opportunity to run and learn new things...but don't.

Lyrics I'm Humming:
It's a Wonderful World