To Sustain or Not to Sustain...

So, on Saturday we had a Teach for America (TFA) orientation workshop. The first mini session was called "Sustaining Energy". We first made a list of things we had done during the week for ourselves and a list of things we had done during the week for our students...

...basically, my list was very uNbAlaNcEd... I had done about 75 things for my students and 2 for myself.

Today was rough. I came home, and I went for a bike-ride around South Beach and swam for a little bit in the ocean.

I'm pretty much coming to the sad realization that everyday is going to be rough.

Yes, TFA was not lying when they said this was going to be hard. They were not lying when they said we would probably cry everyday until Thanksgiving. Ok. I need to be okay with that.

I talked to my amazing grandmother tonight. I cried and she reminded me of a lot of reasons that I am going to stick around! She also gave me some new good ideas to try with my class.

Tomorrow will be better. Right?

Well...okay...tomorrow may not be better, but tomorrow will be a new day. Tomorrow, I will start fresh with no negative thoughts towards any of my students.

I need to practice grace and forgiveness.

Grace
and
Forgiveness

Lord, please give me wisdom tomorrow. And, please fill me with grace and patience.

Lyrics I'm Humming:
Chris Tomlin's Indescribable

I am here.

Alright...so week 1 is done. This will be my last first week ever as a first year teaching. That is kinda exciting.

Low Point: A girl knocking everything off my desk (pencils, markers, stapler, paper...) and then sitting down like she just showed me up.

High Point: Friday when I got through two entire lessons!

It turns out I have more strictness in me than I thought. I am trying my best to be consistent and to be solid. This is going to be a rough first few months, but I will hold my ground.

I have learned a lot these first few days.

1.) I cannot be these kids friend. I am their teacher.
2.) I thought I would be fighting with the kids more...turns out I am pushing against the school, the administration, and other teachers.
3.) I must explain content clearly and consistently or kids will catch my mistakes. Kids will catch every single one of my mistakes.

Legally, I cannot post pictures or names of my students. So, unfortunately I can't tell you about all of the colorful personalities in my classroom... : ) More info to come about my students though!!

Thanks for the encouragement and posts on my blog. I will not merely get through this year, but THRIVE this year, with the encouragement of you, so thank you so much for your consistency! : )

Lyrics I'm Humming:
I Will Survive!

5 minute lunch

I am eating an apple very quickly during my five minute lunch break.

Yesterday was my first day of teaching, and it was ok.

I feel like today is my day of initiation. Today has been rough. I had a girl knock over everything on my desk...pens, markers, tape... all this little stuff. No one helped. All 22 kids just sat and laughed. I let the stuff lay there, because I was not going to get on my hands and knees in this classroom.

Well, I have to go pick up the kids from lunch.

Bye Bye 5 minutes

Tomorrow

School starts tomorrow.

I am freaking out.

I am really overwhelmed.

I need to rest.

I've been at school yesterday (Saturday) and today (Sunday) from 7:30am to 6:00 last night, and I am getting ready to leave right now.

I need to chill before school tomorrow.

I'm going back to my apartment.

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Just Breathe.

The Sunshine Today

I feel sorry for people who think more about a rainy day ahead than sunshine today.

-Rae Foley

Wise words, and unfortunately Rae would have been feeling very sorry for me these past few days...

Ahhh! What pure craziness this past week.

I got to my school for the first day of work on Tuesday, and after preparing for Kindergarten, I was given the job as the new Math and Science 5th grade teacher. Ok. Here we go.

While 5th grade was exactly what I wanted (the sunshine today) all I could think about was how overwhelmed I was/am with work and how hard it's going to be teaching pre-pubesant boys and girls (rainy day ahead).

I was so concerned with that that my sunny day became a huge thunderstorm.

So, I'm attempting to bring my umbrella now!

I don't think I can stop the rain...the unorganization of my school, the negative comments about my students, the immense amount of work, the demands of preparing an excellent classroom, and the insecurities of having no idea what that means.

So, if you can't stop the rain, you bring an umbrella. : )

My umbrella has been found in good friends, amazingly encouraging emails and letters, prayers, and strength given to me from incredible supports, and lots of deep breaths.

So, school starts Monday. Monday morning at 8:20, I will meet my 21 students. And, Monday afternoon at 12:00, I will meet my 18 students.

I teach two groups of students. I teach Group A Math and Science in the mornings, and I teach Group B Math and Science in the afternoons.

Butterflies have been eating away at my stomach. I am so nervous. : / And, I am so excited.

This is what I came here to do.

Bring it on Sunshine!

Lyrics I'm Humming:

Sugar, Sugar...ahh..Honey, Honey